Have you spent any length of time listening to how you or others talk to the children in your life? Odds are that you probably haven't. The truth is that the words that our children hear every single day by the people in their lives carry a very powerful punch, both from a positive as well as from a negative perspective. The words your children hear from the time they are born have a direct impact on the personality that they will have in adulthood. If these words aren't filtered, they can serve to create a chronically unhappy and negative adult. So, it is the responsibility of us as the parents, caregivers, and other influences to mindfully choose how we speak to the children and around the children in our lives.
Children have not yet developed the ability to separate themselves from the problems of everyday life. This means that they often see everything happening around them is "their fault" and begin to develop an enormous sense of guilt about it. They internalize the chaos that happens inside their families and make themselves responsible, leading to feelings of sorrow and despair. It is important to make sure we are always communicating with our children to make sure they don't internalize adult conversations or things that are said in the chaos of life.
In a nutshell, it is normal for parents to argue. It is normal to have some chaos in our homes. However, how we, as the adults, handle these normal ups and downs and what we say to our children or in front of the children must be carefully considered or it an can cause irreparable damage. It is our duty to teach children how to deal with conflict effectively rather than create an environment that leads them to believe that the normal chaos of life is their fault. If your child is reacting negatively or has taken on a pattern of behavior that is outside of the norm, it's time to get some professional help and begin the healing process for your child. Call Allison today to make an appointment to get help with your teen 760-223-5311